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\noindent
{\it Luke Barrett, Matt Ginn and Jake Youso -- Water Runoff at Holy Cross}
\bigskip
Your presentation to the class was mostly good, although
it certainly did not go as deeply into most of the aspects of this 
topic as it could have.  

The paper is also generally OK, although it is clearly three
separate sections spliced together rather than a 
single text.  There are a lot of generalities repeated
several times in the different sections.   There is
{\it less content} here than I hoped you would be able to 
generate. 

You also did not include the discussion of how you would
take the data from a ``finer-grained'' survey of the campus
and use that to identify the problem areas via a statistical
analysis.  If you look
back at my email to the run-off groups from May 3, you 
will see that I asked {\it everyone} to do that.
So this is an important omission.  


There are also some technical
issues.  The major thing there is that you have not included
{\it in the paper} a complete bibliography of the sources
you consulted.  I hope that you didn't misunderstand the
terms of the assignment.  Even though I asked you to do 
the annotated bibliography earlier, you were still supposed
to include a complete bibliography in the final paper since, 
as was true for several groups, additional sources might
have emerged as work on the project proceeded.  Plus, 
citations in the text should be checkable from the paper 
itself (without referring to what you submitted earlier). 
I can guess how that probably happened, but
that just is not acceptable for a research paper like this.  
(Be aware, too, that in a lot of courses here at HC, problems with
citations would carry extremely steep penalties
on the overall grade for the paper.)  

\bigskip
\noindent
{\it Specific Comments}
\bigskip
\item{1)}  Actually, if you look at the history of the environmental
movement in the US and other countries, you will see that 
concern over water and air pollution developed {\it a long time
before} issues about greenhouse gases and global warming.  
If you have the chance, look up Rachel Carson's book {\it Silent Spring}.
\item{2)}  As we discussed several times, it is actually now illegal
to allow that kind of waste to flow into nearby rivers.  The 
College is required to dispose of all chemical wastes in approved
ways.
\item{3)}  This is somewhat contradicted by what you say later about
the initiative to reduce the amount of salt that is used.  This
could be a coordination issue between the different sections (authors),
or it could be a case of not explaining something that well.  I 
cannot really tell which it is.
\item{4)}  Where was this photo taken?  Was it on campus?  Say more!
\item{5)}  This is presumably a group effort.  Say ``we'' rather than 
``I'' when discussing how the data was analyzed.
\item{6)}  The point that the College is on a hillside has been 
made many times before the Preventative Techniques section.  It
is overkill to say this again here.  
\item{7)}  Storm drains actually usually carry runoff water into nearby
streams, etc.  So you could argue that the drains are just 
moving the problem from one location to another.  
\bigskip
\noindent
{\it Final Project Grades}
\bigskip
\noindent
{\it Presentation:}  B (85)
\bigskip
\noindent
{\it Paper Content:}  B  (85)
\bigskip
\noindent
{\it Paper Form:}  B  (85)
\bye
