\bigskip
\noindent
{\it Name:} Andrew Marzo
\bigskip
\noindent
Content and Structure -- The paper
\bigskip
\item{1.}  Has a clearly stated topic or question that it will address -- 10
\item{2.}  Does address the topic or question -- 5
\item{3.}  Has a clearly articulated and logical structure:
\medskip
\itemitem{a.}  First paragraph lays out the topic or question -- 10
\itemitem{b.}  Later paragraphs have topic sentences and clearly identifiable main ideas -- 10
\itemitem{c.}  Transitions between paragraphs are logical -- 10
\medskip
\item{4.}  Accurately presents facts and viewpoints of sources -- 10
\item{5.}  Provides sufficient textual evidence to support the argument -- 10 
\item{6.}  Is concise, clear, and not too repetitive -- 8
\item{7.}  Has a clearly identifiable conclusion -- 10
\item{8.}  Has a convincing argument that draws together the evidence presented -- 10
\bigskip
\noindent
Total: 93 (A-)
\bigskip
\noindent
Style and English Usage -- The paper
\bigskip
\item{1.} Is clear, direct, and appropriate in tone -- 20
\item{2.} Is free of misspellings -- 10
\item{3.} Is free of grammatical mistakes -- 14
\item{4.} Avoids incomplete sentences -- 10
\item{5.} Avoids run-on or overly complicated sentences -- 9
\item{6.}  Uses correct punctuation -- 8
\item{7.} Is free of jargon, cliches, and misused words -- 10
\item{8.} Cites quotations and/or references correctly -- 10
\bigskip
\noindent
Total: 96 (A)
\bigskip
\noindent
{\it Comments:}  Andrew, there are still a few technical issues here (especially
about use of commas to set off phrases).  But overall, this is 
better than the first version.

The major issue about the content I have is that you have some
pretty strong claims here about the fact that Henrietta was taken
advantage of by the doctors who collected the tissues from which
the HeLa cell line was grown.  You say that they were motivated
by possible profits from selling the cells.  Yet, I don't see
any of that motive in George Gey (at least in the way he is described
in the book).  He seems to me to be just a single-minded science
``nerd'' who is completely focused on his research, and in fact
he ends up giving away all of the original samples to other scientists
without generating anything in the way of monetary reward for
himself.   
\bye
