"    Andrew,"

"    This is a reasonably good essay that makes some good"
"    points.  However, I think you have overstated a number of"
"    things.  Your writing also tends to be a little bombastic"
"    (too forceful and overstated) in tone.  Some comments:"

"    1) Saying the natural world is ""all that pertains"
"       to existence and the essence of life"" is so"
"       broad that there is hardly any meaning left."

"    2) ""omnipresent hills"" is an example of the bombastic"
"       tone I was pointing out."

"    3) ""strong relationship with nature in tact"" is"
"       wrong -- should be ""intact"" (one word)"

"    4) ""immense weight of this profound statement"" -- bombastic"
"       again"

"    5) ""environmentally conscience identity"" uses the wrong"
"       word -- should be ""conscious."""

"    6) ""plethora of different types of trees"" -- don't overuse"
"       the ""SAT vocabulary list"" words(!)"

"    I would like to think that your picture of a steadfastly"
"    environmentally conscious Holy Cross is correct.  But there"
"    are questionable points there.  For instance, what about"
"    the construction of the current Fitton Field on what used"
"    to be wetlands along the Blackstone River?  Currently, there"
"    is actually a lot of opposition from the administration"
"    to the plan to build a wind turbine because the projections"
"    do not show it making enough of an economic impact in"
"    reducing electricity costs.   There are other examples too."

"      Also, I think it is important to ask, to what extent is"
"    the campus really ""natural.""  There is an artificial"
"    orderliness to the arboretum trees, for instance, that you"
"    would never see in a natural forest where the trees have to"
"    compete with each other and with the undergrowth for space"
"    and sunlight."

"Grade:  8.5/10"