Ben Malgeri

   This is a good start on the first writing assignment.  
   You have done a good job, for the most part, on the 
   "they say" part.  The major criticism I have is that
   you seem to have gotten into aspects of the "I say"
   phase prematurely.  For example, see the comment at
   the bottom of the first page.  Deciding which position
   is more credible is really part of responding to what
   the articles say, not part of summarizing what they 
   actually said.  This goes too for some of the points
   you made on page 2.  I think you should try to go
   back and incorporate more of the details the two 
   articles were including to back up their positions
   without taking a side either way at this point in the 
   paper.  Remember that this is the "They say" part. 

   I have made a number of suggestions for rewording
   or rewriting things directly on a printout of the 
   paper.  Ask me what I meant if the markings are not
   clear. 

   Comment:

   1.  Instead of saying "this is correct" here, you 
   could just explain that no major change in the 
   behavior of the graph is observable around 1996,
   so the introduction of GMO seeds did not have an
   immediate effect on yields.

   PS:  One of the main points of the Laskawy article
   is that increased resistance to pesticides and herbicides 
   is negating the benefits of GMO crops.  The interesting
   point here is that that resistance develops naturally 
   through evolution.  In effect, the genomes of the
   pests and the weeds are changing in response to 
   our genetic modification of the crops.  Some people
   compare the situation to an arms race where neither
   side can ever gain a decisive advantage.