Victoria Young -- Visit to MASSMoCa

  I'm glad to hear you enjoyed some of the things we saw on the field
  trip to MASSMoCa (the museum of contemporary art in North Adams)!  

  It sounds as though you might have had unpleasant experiences in 
  museums before and that might be why you don't see yourself as
  "artsy" or as someone who enjoys most aspects of art.  Part of the difference 
  of this museum is that everything they show is really contemporary.  So
  there almost has to be more of a connection between what the art is and
  things that you might find interesting because the people who are making
  the art have had many of the same experiences and ideas that you do.  And 
  part of that really comes out in what you said about the "Here Comes the 
  Sun" and the "Tonal Walkway" exhibits.  Much of the art that is being 
  made today has a playful, thought-provoking side that comes across in the 
  materials, the ideas the artist is trying to get across, the ways you 
  get to interact with the art, etc.  It's not as stodgy and it's not just 
  about making "beautiful images" (whatever that means!) any more.  I hope 
  you have the inclination and the chance to explore other art in the future.

  A couple of technical things:

  1)  Don't overuse "so" as an ``intensifier'' (as in "so wrong," "so worth it" 
  etc.)  It's fine in everyday speech, but it sounds wrong in more formal
  writing.

  2)  There are a few sentences that could still use some work.  For instance,
  from the discussion of "Here Comes the Sun:"  "It looked so perfect and at a 
  quick glance, one would never know what it was made from, but when they get a 
  closer look they see the precision and creativity that was put into it."
  This is pretty much a run-on sentence and the "one" in the first part doesn't
  quite match the "they"s in the second part.  Here's a suggestion:  "It looked 
  perfect; at a quick glance, one would never know what it was made from.
  On closer inspection, though, one can see the precision and creativity that
  went into it."

  Content:  A

  Mechanics:  A-