Victoria Young -- No title

   While I get that turning Kevin Durant into a snake is a satifying
   outcome for an Oklahoma City Thunder fan, I'm not sure your transformation 
   story really ``works'' on a couple of other levels.  The main aspect
   I question is that you haven't quite made it clear how being a snake 
   protects him from the people who would want to hurt him after his decision.  
   I think most people have an instinctive hatred of snakes and have no 
   trouble at all killing them if they interfere with human lives.  So I don't 
   really see that the transformation, by itself, protects Durant the way you 
   have described it.  But it would be possible to get that idea into the story
   more explicitly by saying something like this:  "After the transformation, he 
   slithered away to clefts between the rocks in a lonely hillside in the 
   wilderness in Colorado, far away from Oklahoma City and far away from the 
   paths humans typically take through that part of the country ... ." 

   The way I understand it, Kevin Durant's decision to leave OKC was
   especially galling for the Thunder fans because he had the reputation
   of being "the nicest player in the NBA."  You might have worked that
   into the story somehow to indicate why the OKC fans were so disappointed
   in him.  

   The other point that doesn't completely "work" for me is having Michael Jordan 
   be the agent of the transformation.  I know Jordan is a "basketball god" 
   because of the way he played the game, but is he someone who has looked
   over the game after he left and exercised influence?  I'm asking because
   I don't really follow the NBA and I don't know.  Establishing his 
   "credentials" for being the one to make the transformation would have
   added to the story.

   Content:  B

   Mechanics:  A