Liam O'Toole -- Crossing the Border into Adulthood
   
   This is a generally excellent essay on John Grady Cole's growth toward
   adulthood in All the Pretty Horses.  You have a good ear and are attuned
   to the ways Cormac McCarthy shows his emotional development.  Your
   writing is also very polished now but there is something you
   can still try to work on to increase your fluency as a writer.  Namely, 
   you have a bit of a tendency toward "wordiness" that means your points don't 
   always come through as directly as they might.  Here's one example of what 
   I mean, at the first paragraph break on page 3:
   
   "... This response, however reluctant, demonstrates emotional progress in Cole, 
   for it shows his connection with Blevins and the start of his ability to care 
   about the people around him.

       This somewhat reluctant statement does not represent the full extent to 
   which Blevins impacted Cole’s maturation, however."
    
   Repeating the idea that the statement was somewhat reluctant is not really
   necessary.  Starting the new paragraph with a negated statement is also 
   indirect.  The new paragraph would get off to a stronger start if you
   just said something like:
   
   "Blevins impacted Cole's maturation in other ways as well."
   
   Sometimes simpler is better!
   
   Content: A

   Mechanics: A