Connor Mudrick -- All the Pretty Horses
  
  Your essay shows some good insights about the ways John Grady Cole grows
  up over the course of the story.  However, I think you are almost trying 
  to do too much by saying both that the novel shows how he has grown up 
  and how he can be viewed as a sort of hero.
  
  Here's a dictionary definition of a hero: "a person who is admired or 
  idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities."  
  It's pretty clear that John Grady doesn't see himself that way from 
  some of the things he says at the end of the story.  And I don't think
  you have really shown that he deserves to be thought of that way 
  either.  
  
  In terms of the writing, I think the paper improves after the first 
  paragraph, but that first paragraph could have used some additional
  work and rewriting.  Here are some sentence-by-sentence comments:
  
  John Grady Cole's adventures throughout Texas and Mexico result in 
  substantial maturation. 
  
  > That passive construction is weak. How about "John Grady Cole matures
    substantially during his adventures in Texas and Mexico.
    
    (Note: "throughout" does not really apply since he's in a specific
    series of actual places, not everywhere in Texas or Mexico.)
  
  As a sixteen-year-old in Texas, John Grady fantasizes about life as a 
  cowboy on the vast Mexican desert. 
  
  >  How do we really know that?  Does he describe those fantasies?
  
  His experience traveling in Mexico left him wiser, but also tarnishes his
  preconceived notion that the life of a Mexican cowboy is idyllic. 
  
  > Mechanical point:  The tenses of "left" and "tarnishes" don't agree
  
  John Grady can be considered a hero because his quest to live as a cowboy in 
  Mexico stays true to the theme of justice for all.
  
  > "Theme of justice for all?"  What do you mean by that?  And isn't his sense 
    of morality really personal rather than general?   

  Even after going through months of trials in pursuit of Alejandra he returns to 
  Texas alone. John Grady achieved full maturation by understanding that perfection 
  cannot last forever and sometimes the most optimal situations sour. 
  
  > I'm not sure he would have ever thought of his situation as "perfect" or 
    "optimal."  He certainly found what might have been a long-term position
    on the hacienda doing the thing he loved -- working with the horses.  
    But almost immediately he also falls into the affair with Alejandra and 
    I think they both realize how risky that is.
    
  His crossing of the border between childhood and adulthood is exemplified by 
  his moral compass, pursuit of love, and two, distinct crossings of the Rio 
  Grande river.

  > The word "exemplify" is not quite what you want here.  It means to 
    "be a typical example of."   You're really talking about the different
    items of evidence for saying he has matured.  And isn't really the contrast 
    between the two river crossings that matters, not just the fact that he
    crosses the Rio Grand twice?
    
  
  Some more specific comments:
  
  1)  I'm not sure John Grady's actions in the Mexican prison really
  show his moral compass so much as his survival instinct.  Does
  he buy the knife and kill the "cuchillero" in their fight because
  he thinks he's "doing the right thing" by defying Perez, or is it 
  that he just really wants to stay alive.  I think you could
  actually argue either way, but to make the "sense of justice"
  argument, you need more evidence than you are giving.  
  
  2)  "Don Hector has John Grady and his company imprisoned while 
  tending to horses on the Mexican deserts. The imprisonment leads to 
  the death of Blevins and severe injury to Rawlins and John Grady."  
  This quick summary of that part of the plot is not very clear.  
  Who is "the company?"  It's really just Rawlins.  Blevins has
  been imprisoned after he got into trouble separately.  He and Cole and
  Rawlins parted ways before Cole and Rawlins arrived at the hacienda.
  
  Content: B+
  
  Mechanics: B+