Jack Katarincic -- The "Contrary Nature" of Egyptian Culture (paper 2 rewrite) 

  I think most of the rewrite was pretty successful.  The exception to that
  is your opening paragraph.  You have worked in the idea of the boundary
  between Egyptian customs and everyone else's customs via the idea that
  the Egyptians do everything in the opposite way.  However, the paragraph
  is kind of choppy and it has several errors.  

  "In Sections 2.35-2.37 of The Landmark of Herodotus, Herodotus begins to
  describe the Egyptians. He describes in detail the customs of the Egyptians.
  Herodotus is claiming that there is a border between Egyptian customs and those of
  all other societies defined by the fact that the Egyptians do everything in a 
  completely opposite way. In this passage Herodotus encounters clear geographical
  and cultural borders between the Egyptians and other society’s."

  First, the name of the book is *The Histories* (that's supposed to be italics, not in quotes,
  but I can't do italics in a plain text file like this).  The edition we read is 
  called the Landmark edition of Herodotus' *The Histories*.  But in citing a passage
  from the book by Herodotus, you don't normally indicate which edition you are using.  
  Just say *The Histories* by Herodotus.

  Then, the first two sentences could be combined like this:  "In Sections 2.35-2.37 of 
  *The Histories*, Herodotus describes the customs of the Egyptians in detail."

  The last sentence has a couple of problems:
  
  (1) You could say that Herodotus "encountered" differences if you were referring
      to the trip he says he made to Egypt to do the research behind this book.
      But "encounters" does not really make sense if you are talking about the 
      the passage in the book.  Maybe "discusses" or "details"?

  (2) "society's" at the end is not correct.  You just mean the plural: "societies."
  
  Most of the rest is good, but there are quite a few slips between:
  
  Egyptians = plural 
  
  Egyptians' = plural possessive (There are a lot of times where you say Egyptians
               when you mean this.  See the first line on page 4 for one example.) 

  Content:  A-

  Mechanics:  B+