Mary McGregor -- Fear Begets Fear

   Your choice of passage to write about was an excellent one.  I think you 
   have done a great job analyzing what Cheryl Strayed says about how she
   learned to conquer (or maybe just put aside) her fears.  She needed to 
   do that in order to keep going and not get paralyzed on her hike.  She
   also learns how to handle fears like the fear of not being liked by 
   others (mostly men) in the process.  So you are right that this is a 
   key passage in her journey.  You have understood this passage very well
   and shown how it fits in with her journey to self-discovery through her
   hike.  

   A few technical points:  First in the opening paragraph, your quotation 
   from "Wild" is not really done correctly for two reasons.  The first, smaller
   problem is that you missed the verb first sentence.  The second issue is that
   the sentences you quoting span several paragraphs in the original.  I believe
   that it would be better to preserve the paragraph breaks in you quotation 
   because Cheryl Strayed doesn't do things like that with no reason.  She's
   a careful and good writer.  So the fact that "But I wasn't thinking of them."
   is actually a paragraph of its own is probably something you want to keep
   in quoting the passage.  

   You say a bit later "hiking the coast of California," but that's not really 
   correct.  The PCT is located well inland the whole way -- see the map on page xi.

   The phrase "a callused woman" near the top of page 2 sounds a bit odd. It 
   might even be a direct quotation from "Wild" somewhere, although I couldn't
   find it just now.  But even so, it might be better to explain a bit more
   about what you mean.  Even saying "a woman with calluses from her physical
   exertion" would make it clearer what you mean, I think.


   Content/Evidence -- A

   Structure/Mechanics -- A-