Zack, 


     Your "lighter" paper on Hamlet is very good on the whole.  It seems as 
   though had some fun with this, which is what I hoped would happen.
   I especially like the way you had Horatio twice get way into some
   aspect of the story, then say "maybe I need to back up ... ."  That
   touch was very effective.  Your writing is also much better here than
   on the first paper this semester.  Part of that, I expect, was that 
   you were able to write more "in your own voice" on this assignment.  
   Keep working on the more formal writing too.  Good writing is an 
   important skill to have.  

   Specific comments:

   "There have been a number of recent deaths at Elsinore Castle, in fact 
   there is barely anyone alive that can tell us exactly what has caused such 
   tragedy in the royal home."  The comma after Castle is not correct.  If you 
   want to put two complete sentences into one this way, use a semicolon.  (But
   actually two separate sentences would be even better.)  Another similar place
   later:  “And then she went down, she just dropped, completely fell to the ground.”
   These are called "comma splices" -- don't do them(!)

   "Laertes loved his sister Ophelia very much and this sent him over the edge.     
   So obviously Laertes was furious and wanted revenge, therefore challenging 
   Hamlet to duel."  First, this sentence doesn't really "work" -- say something
   like " ... wanted revenge, therefore he challenged him to a duel."  Also, 
   recall that Laertes doesn't learn that Ophelia is dead until after he comes
   back from Paris.  His original fury is only over the death of his father. 

   "Meanwhile Claudius knew Hamlet was up to something and wanted him to be killed."
   Yes, but Horatio only knows this because of Hamlet's letter recounting the
   way he discovered Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were dispatched to England
   with Hamlet to cause his death.  That's too "juicy" a detail to leave out, 
   and Horatio does know about it since Hamlet told him(!) 

   "He tells us that they started to scuffle and Laertes ended up also being cut 
   by his own poisoned blade."  Yes, but don't forget that they actually ended
   up switching swords in the confusion and that's why Hamlet ended up holding
   the one with the poisoned blade.  

   Two small typos/word mistakes toward the end: 
 
   "an exclusive interview that you wont be able to read" -- should be "won't"
   (contraction for "will not")

   "but lets hope whatever family is in power next" -- should be "let's" 
   (contraction for "let us")

   Note that both of these without the apostrophes are actually other valid
   English words, so a spell-checker can't find this sort of mistake.  

   Content -- A-

   Structure/Mechanics -- A-