Callan, 

   Your "lighter" paper on Hamlet is mostly very good!  You have caught the spirit
of the assignment perfectly.  The following comments are keyed to specific passages
from your text, quoted to start:

"suspicions has been rising to the surface" -- One might hope even TMZ.com would 
have better proofreading ;)

"Given private time to you, ... "  since this is addressed directly to Ophelia, to use
the direct quote, it would be better to change you to [her] (in brackets like that
to indicate the change), or else to make this a report of a conversation overheard
by someone else, not something Polonius relays directly himself.  

"Well you should because our sources can attest."  Usually you attest to something.  
Say "... our sources can attest to their existence" or something like that.

"He asked the troupe" -- better to use "asks" to keep tenses consistent with the
rest of the paragraph.

You only mention that Horatio was also a source at the very end.  So it would have been
good to think about who your source of information would be for things like the
scene of Hamlet coming close to killing Claudius while he was praying (Act 3, scene 3). 
Was Polonius skulking about to overhear that?  If so, how did he manage to get this
tidbit to your reporter before he was killed in the next scene?

Content -- A

Structure/Mechanics -- A-