Brendan, 


Your "lighter" paper on Hamlet is good on the whole.  But it reads more like a real 
newpaper crime story than a "juicy story" on a celebrity gossip web site.  
I'm not sure about the wisdom of changing the details of the final scene as much as you 
do in the last paragraphs.  I can tell you wanted to update the whole situation to 
make it seem even more contemporary.  But note that the production of the play we
saw in Fenwick Theater managed to do that too without changing many of the basic
plot points.  So it is possible to make the story seem up to date without wholesale
changes and I was hoping part of the fun would be to try to incorporate the actual 
details from the play (the fight with the poisoned swords, the poisoned cup of wine, 
the way Hamlet killed Claudius twice over, so to speak).  

The following are some specific comments keyed to specific points in your text:

"mansion" sounds a bit odd since Shakespeare always calls Elsinore a "castle"

Do court systems issue indictments of individuals who are already dead?

"supposedly began taking of some ghost"  I think you mean "talking" 

"Strange enough Hamlet’s friend,"  should be "Strangely enough, Hamlet's friend,"

"Murder in Gonzago" should be "Murder of Gonzago"

"as an autopsy gave hint to her drowning as suicidal."  Maybe:  "as an autopsy indicated
that her death by drowning was a suicide."  (A person can be "suicidal," but not the drowning
itself.)

"Answers was all that Laertes wanted at his arrival, but as time went on, this want for 
answers evolved into a want of blood."  This is pretty awkward.  Something like
"Answers were all that Laertes wanted at first, but as time went on, this desire
for answers evolved into a desire for blood" (and wouldn't revenge be closer to the mark?)

"the first person he mets in the mansion,"  -- mets should be met.

Content -- B+

Structure/Mechanics -- B